Dude Calls The Cops After Someone Breaks Into His House And Demands That They Smoke Weed Together

CADILLAC, MI – A man sleeping on his couch woke to a knife-wielding intruder who allegedly told the resident ‘”you’re going to smoke some weed with me right now,” police said. The resident reported that the intruder entered the home about 2:30 a.m. Wednesday and made the marijuana demand. The victim managed to stall the suspect, who put his knife down. The victim then grabbed the knife, ran to his neighbor’s house and pounded on the door. He feared that the intruder was behind him and forced his way into his neighbor’s house. The neighbor, who was also sleeping, called 911 and asked for help at his East Mason Street home. He heard what sounded like a knock at the door and a crow bar hitting the ground. Cadillac police responded and found the man approaching them with the knife. Police quickly determined that he was a neighbor to the caller and victim of the home invasion next door. Police found the suspect early Wednesday, July 15, behind a residence after he fell down a steep hill.

Oh what a traumatic experience. How horrible. What monster comes into your home and demands you smoke free weed with him? What horrible person points a knife at you and says, “Here’s the deal. We’re gonna get high as fuck, eat a bunch of junk food, probably watch a few movies then pass out.” Sounds like this guy would be one of my best friends, definitely in my MySpace top 8. Look man it’s not like he came in and stole anything. He didn’t say he was going to butt fuck you on the lawn next to your wife’s headless corpse. Just wanted a bro to smoke some weed with. He was a little lonely. That’s a crime now, looking for a friend? What a shame. You know, starting right at pre-K they tell you that you have to put yourself out there. Gotta go out and try to make pals and that’s exactly what this guy did. Kicked down doors, brought gifts, tried to hang out, and this is the thanks he gets. A fall down a steep hill while running for his freedom and a subsequent arrest. With friends like that who needs friends.